I've written a few drabbles. Currently, two have been published by the Drabblecast, and two have been rejected. One is currently in Submission Hell, so this one will tip the scales as to whether I like myself or want to kill myself. Here they all are. Enjoy. Or not. But you better enjoy. UPDATE: They turned it down. :( Just submitted Dog Heaven, though.
Chester Cleans the Kitchen
Chester handed Lois her evening hot toddy in bed, the brandy neatly masking the taste of the chloral hydrate. “I’ll clean the kitchen, Babe.”
“You’re too good to me, Sweety,” Lois smiled.
A half hour later, Chester checked on Lois' empty glass and headed back to the kitchen. He removed his shirt, his pants, everything. He peeled back his skin, revealing a chitinous shell and antennae. He skittered about the kitchen, cleaning the dishes, the counter, the floor. Too late, he turned to see the business end of a broom through faceted eyes. “I’ll clean from now on,” she said.
Hide and Seek
Rex was "it." He searched the neighborhood tree tops, checked behind the bulky roots, and sniffed for the trace signs of Lizzie's hiding place. He heard a giggling from the yellow house, one window open, a faint breeze carrying a muffled laugh and a pungent, human odor. Bending down, Rex leaned his five-foot long head into the window, pressing his reptilian eye alongside the opening, but could see nothing. With faith, he reached in and opened his mouth. His tongue wrapped around Lizzie's form hiding just under the sill and rolled her in, pulling her outside. "You're it," said Rex.
The Flu
At the weekly strategy meeting, Carl the zombie coughed all over the regional consortium. Those present immediately began to exhibit symptoms. Carl became the first to walk without dragging his right leg. Monique’s decaying complexion cleared up, and patches of flesh restored to muscle and bone. Tyrone could speak without moaning. Not a single one touched the finger sandwiches.
Eustace emailed the entire local squad and called for sequester and quarantine to prevent further contamination. This abated the immediate spread, but by then it was too late. The Human Flu was a bigger problem than most of them originally realized.
Stevie Loved Jaws
Stevie watched Jaws at the tender age of nine and he was hooked. He loved to watch Hooper drop the tooth over and over, laughing harder each time. Then Stevie devised a plan.
With his birthday cash he bought one dozen gray helium balloons. On each balloon he drew the mortal face of Ben Gardner; left eye just a socket, mouth gaping in a permanent state of shock. Stevie handed the balloons out to all of his best enemies. One by one, as they stood looking at the bobbing gray heads, they were swallowed whole by a 25-foot land shark.
When the Sand Became Sentient
First they bred with jellyfish, creating crystalline, floating Christmas ornaments in the ocean. They quickly moved on to the squid, leaving amethyst pens as evidence within the squids’ transparent bodies. They found the chordata allowed for greater synthesis, the skeletal tissue easily adapted from calcium and phosphorus to jasper, citrine and chalcedony. The sharks resisted the genetic changes, and any matings were aborted, crystal embryos falling like snowflakes to the sea floor. When the mineral strands blended with the helices of the cetaceans, their young turned into adamantine wonders. And then the quartz sand remembered the humans on the beach.
Dog Heaven
It’s true; all dogs go to Dog Heaven. They follow the scent of dead possum into fields of endless tennis balls and running boys. Rivers of biscuits are piled on unguarded banquet tables, the food ripened just past freshness. Tails are held high, greetings exchanged nose to butt. And the ones who met the unkind knife on earth find… The Room. Inside they find what was stolen from them, perched nose-level, firm and full, the musty stench of fertility and sex fill their nostrils. The severed balls rejoin their masters, and the dogs settle down for long-awaited and well-earned lickings.
When Carl Became a Cat
When Carl became a cat, the first thing he noticed was how bright the day sky had become. This was solved by sleeping twenty hours, to make sure there were no hours of light slipping in. Next was the abundance of rocking chairs, pitbulls and puddles. Carl became lithe, hopping from couch to table to counter as the situation demanded. Becoming a cat worked out well, and all was right with the world. That is, until he realized that the Man was plotting the Cats’ demise. From then on, Carl gradually stole mens’ souls by rubbing up against their legs.
Yes, Virginia, There is a Brontosaurus
Guard Montgomery lowered the paper and stood up when he heard the shuffling of bone across the museum’s floor. He unholstered his gun with a light touch of his hand and soft-soled his way into the Hall of Dinosaurs. He lit up the juvenile Apatosaurus skeleton in front of the mural, checking it from tail to head. Suddenly, the skull dropped to the floor, shattering into pieces. He heard the shuffling again and turned the flashlight to the sound. The skull of Camarasaurus came across the floor. It slid along the Apatosaurus backbone and reestablished itself as the defamed Brontosaurus.